Khotba (Engagement) menu
Engagement (Khotba) Menu — What to Serve When the Families Meet
The khotba is the formal visit where the groom's family asks for the bride's hand, and the food is deliberately restrained — a tea and pastry reception rather than a full dinner, so the conversation stays the focus. Trays of cookies, stuffed dates and mint tea circulate while gifts of sugar cones, henna and sweets are exchanged. If the families agree, a lighter meal sometimes follows. This menu covers the reception itself and the optional lunch that can come after.
The menu
Reception sweets
Kaab el ghazal, ghriba and fekkas on a shared tray
A generous but not overwhelming spread, meant for nibbling during conversation rather than a full dessert course.
Stuffed dates
Dates filled with almond paste, rolled in sesame
A small, elegant sweet often made specifically for this occasion, more delicate than the everyday cookie table.
Drink
Mint tea, poured formally for both families
Poured tall with visible ceremony, often by a younger family member as a mark of respect to the guests.
If a meal follows
A simple chicken tagine with olives and lemon
Kept lighter than a wedding feast, since the khotba is a formal visit rather than the celebration itself.
Gifts alongside food
Sugar cones, henna and a tray of sweets
Traditional gifts brought by the groom's family, often set out alongside the tea as part of the visit rather than eaten.
Shopping list
- Dates, almonds and sesame seeds (for stuffed dates)
- Flour, ground almonds and icing sugar (for ghriba or kaab el ghazal)
- Anise seeds (for fekkas)
- Gunpowder green tea and plenty of fresh mint
- Sugar loaves or decorative sugar cones, if giving them as a gift
- Chicken, preserved lemon and olives, if a meal is planned afterwards
- Good tea glasses and a proper teapot for the formal pour
- A decorative tray or two for presenting the sweets
- Fresh flowers or a simple table decoration for the reception
Prep timeline
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Several days before
Bake the cookies and prepare the sugar cones or gifts so nothing needs last-minute attention on the day.
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Morning of
Stuff the dates and arrange all the sweets on trays; brew the tea just before guests arrive.
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During the visit
Pour tea formally as the families talk, keeping the trays topped up rather than serving a structured course order.
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If a meal is agreed
Have a simple tagine ready to warm through afterwards, kept lighter than a wedding-scale feast.
Host's tips
- Keep the food secondary to the occasion — the khotba is about the conversation between families, not an elaborate menu.
- Stuffed dates and a good cookie tray say more than an ambitious spread would; simplicity is appropriate here.
- Have the tea ready to pour the moment guests are seated, since the formal pour is part of how the visit is welcomed.
- If a meal follows, keep it modest — save the larger feast for the wedding itself.
Questions about this menu
What is a khotba in Moroccan tradition?
The khotba is the formal visit where the groom's family asks the bride's family for her hand, typically involving conversation, an exchange of small gifts such as sugar and henna, and a reception of tea and pastries.
What food is served at a khotba?
Usually just tea and a tray of pastries and sweets — kaab el ghazal, ghriba, and often dates stuffed with almond paste — rather than a full meal, since the visit is centred on the two families talking.
Is a meal always served during the khotba?
Not always. Many families keep it to tea and sweets, though some follow the reception with a simple lunch if the visit runs long or both families wish to extend the occasion.
What gifts are traditionally exchanged at a khotba?
The groom's family often brings sugar cones, henna, dates and sometimes clothing or jewellery for the bride, presented alongside the tea reception as part of the formal asking.
Learn to cook this menu with a local in Marrakech
Every dish here is taught, hands-on, in a Marrakech cooking class — or taste them across the medina on a guided food tour.